The closure I needed.

I am an individual who needs closure. Mostly because I am selfish. I strive to be the best, which includes friendships and relationships. I FEEL LIKE I WAS A LOUSY FRIEND when I don’t get answers on why it ended. Ending these situations is never easy. However, I noticed that I never really got closure from these once-promising interactions.

Last night, I began closing an interaction with an associate (we were far from friends); however, I thought we would head in that direction. I recognized the writing on the wall and prepared myself for the end. I constructed questions that I would ask to find the underlying cause of why it did not work. Though the answers were BS, it did not matter. It was more important to have an end-point. When I received the answers to my questions, the response did not matter. I was the best friend that I could be.

For so long, I was a coward. I often let relationships fizzle and die out. I never confronted the issues; I simply moved on. However, I realize this is not the finest practice. I think of relationships as newborn babies. You invest time, energy, and money in them. You nurture them so they will one day grow more robust and make you proud. When they disappoint, you expect answers. This is why I needed closure. I needed to know why the friendship did not mature into something powerful.

Last night’s closure had nothing to do with that one person. We did not know each other well enough to establish a meaningful relationship. Last night was mainly about my spiritual growth. It taught me that it is ok for friendships and relationships to die. It is also ok for me to expect answers. Over the past six months, I simply let friendships crash and burn. Never expecting anything from the other person. However, I should expect something. I should expect the lines to be cut and the bridge to be burned. The closure was never about the “other person.” It is about me. I need to know I was a great friend because it is essential. When I get my answer, then I can move on.

You are not asking for too much when you ask for closure.  You deserve it. However, you should be prepared if you do not get the closure. Some people are cowards, as I once was; they are incapable of giving closure. In this case, you have to reassure yourself that you are the best friend that you could be. You did everything that you were supposed to. Some people cannot handle being around people who are strong, blessed, and happy. They will self-sabotage because they cannot handle friends who are doing better than them. In this case, you should feel sorry for these people and not judge them. Continue to pray for them, and move on.

Ending a friendship or relationship is never easy, but in many cases, it is necessary. Thank you, to my associate, for your answers. You helped make me a better person and friend. Now, I am ready to build meaningful relationships.

Until Next Time:

Let God’s light shine within and through you!