Recently, I tried to make a new friend. Not because there was anything wrong with the friends I already had; but because I wanted a new perspective. I think it is great to have a diverse group of friends. I met someone I thought I could add to this new group of friends.
However, the person I met was not a friend. Instead, he told me everything he thought was wrong with me. How I want untrusting, insecure, and set in my ways. This happened soon after; I asked, “How are you doing today.” This person had no idea who I was and had no solid background information to make such assumptions. I decided to proceed, thinking that after this person got to know me, they would understand the real me. After another conversation, it was more of the same.
I know I have done the grunt work over the past few years. I have worked tirelessly to ensure that I am spiritually grounded. The assumptions made were a slap in the face; from someone who knows nothing about my life. I know I am none of the things that this person states I was ( and if I were, I feel it would take more than two conversations to reach this conclusion). This experience made me realize that friendship should be challenging—not complicated.
Some of you are confused. So let me explain.
Friendships are the family that you get to choose. This means you have people in your corner to turn to in need. They support and nurture you. They give you spiritual food. Yes, they are there to have a good time, to laugh and joke. However, the measure of a true friendship is, when you are in the trenches, they (“don’t pull you up”) but join you. They are your biggest cheerleaders and your supporters. They show you tough love when you need it.
This is why a friendship should be complicated. A true friend stays there through the thick of things. They help you through your most challenging moments. You share the greatest of times together. But you are there to help each other through difficult times. In fact, I think the hard times make the friendship more enjoyable. You know you can trust your friend to be there no matter what. You may argue back and forth, but you know the love is still there. This is why true friendships should be complicated.
Friends should not make you feel bad about yourself. They should not try to add additional drama to your life. If anything, they should try to help you navigate through your drama-filled streets. Yes, they offer tough love, but only a true friend wants the best for you. This is why friendships should be hard—not hard.
Until Next Time:
Let God’s light shine within and through you.
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