It feels so good to be back. I understand that I must update you on the going-ons of my life.
So let’s begin:
I do not care how spiritually mature you are; there will be a time when you will be lost and stuck. Times where you just won’t have any answers. This has been my story over the past 6 months.
I felt I had grown as much as I could in this season. However, I felt that I was stuck. Stuck in the same place that I was in since the summer. I was not learning anything new. Since I was not growing, I felt I was not moving. I was not moving while everything and everyone around me moved forward. This made my head spin. This is not the life of someone supposed to live their best life.
Not only were people moving, they were testing me. I had cases over the past 3 months where those life lessons I had learned in the past had to be put into practice. For example, I had to forgive and forgive again. I had to heal a broken heart, recovering from being in love with someone who could never love me back. While dealing with this, I was trying to fix the problem. Spending long nights pacing back and forth. Not sleeping at all.
I did not know nor understand what was going on.
I just knew I experienced sadness. However, my sadness quickly turned into anger. Anger into desperation. Desperation into pain (sometimes physical). Pain into hatred. Hatred into complacency. These feelings were like a revolving door. Coming and going.
I felt like I was hitting a brick wall. There was a disconnect that no matter how hard I prayed, meditated, read, or journaled, that was not being fulfilled. So in response, I had to find new resources. I started therapy and committed to returning to the best life I could live.
I had to recognize that I did not have all the answers. I had to rely on the tools I had learned to overcome those challenges. When that did not work, I sought out professional help.
Over my next few post, I will share with you some of the things I went through in hopes that it will help someone else along the way.
One of my cardinal rules for blogging was never to write unless I had something worth saying. I think I have something to say!
Until Next Time:
Let God’s light shine within and through you!
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